Abusive Anger

This is probably the best article I have read about the use of anger and yelling and is spot on as it applied to my marriage to an abuser. I am now 17 years OUT of this relationship, but still have issues to deal with as my body and brain cope with past ravages that have not corrected themselves because I left. I still experience depression, hyper-response to triggers, and especially cognitive and memory problems. I believe Christian friends, as LittleBird states here, never saw the abuse and so fail to understand or believe the extent of what our family endured – in fact may retain friendship with my abuser because he is such a nice, “fun” guy, as they regard me as unstable or apostate. Please read this in its entirety – so real!

Little Bird Flies


It came out of nowhere; completely unexpected. One minute we were enjoying our lunch and a break from homeschooling, and the next moment he was yelling at the top of his lungs. Storming through the house. Throwing whatever was in his path.

The children and I were stunned. We sat there, eyes wide open, trying to make sense of what he was raving about. Finally, I came to action. I grabbed the children and began moving them out of the kitchen. They knew what was coming. They knew what they were supposed to do. I shepherded them toward their bedrooms. All the while, he was yelling and smashing things.

Once, they were in my daughters room, I knew I had to return to the kitchen. I was scared. I didn’t want to go. I silently tiptoed toward the other part of the house. He was quiet now, probably because nobody…

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